The following is a very personal journal entry written in the first few weeks after the disclosure of my husbands infidelity. I reveal it now to encourage you to listen. To stop all you are doing, to take a walk and listen for the voice of God in your circumstance. The Bible says the Holy Spirit will pray for us when we have no words.
Romans 8: 26, 27 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. NIV
Possibly these words will resonant and you will feel that God is speaking directly to you.
November 2007
I am still here…so SAD. Wish God would just take me from this cruel world.
I went out for a walk and I must say I came back at peace. God is amazing. I walked and prayed and cried and walked and prayed and cried some more. Then I did something different… I listened to that still small voice within.
I heard the most amazing things in the spirit. I wish I could remember them all, but I will pen what I do remember.
God said, “Blossom you are special to me. I am your father, your husband, and your provider. I will not leave you or forsake you…ever. I see every tear you cry and I weep with you.”
“Feel the warm breeze on your cheeks, that is my kiss, that is me wiping away the tears, that is my embrace wrapping you in my arms.” At that precise moment a warm south wind kicked up and caressed my face. My hair lifted softly from my furrowed brow as if God brushed my face tenderly. I raised my face to heaven and bask in the wonder of His amazing presence.
He whispered into my tortured soul, “I love you with an everlasting love, even though you live in an unloving world.
“Every dagger Satan has sent to destroy you will be used for good. Beauty will rise from these ashes. But remain in Me and My words in you, for the legions of hell have come against you.
“Lastly my child, you worry about your appearance and how this has made you feel so unattractive, but I want you to see what I see.
“ You are my bride, my beautiful, beautiful bride with inner beauty that supersedes any outward beauty I have ever created. You are pure before me, dressed in flowing white. You are washed in my blood and you are mine.”
May these words find a home
within your hurting heart.
Consider them a soothing balm,
a healing whisper of hope,
a window into heaven
and the way God views you.