Has life given you lemons when you expected ripe fresh peaches? Are you disappointed in your story? Is your marriage challenged? Are your children not all you dreamed they'd be? Is your career sucking the life out of you? Are you lonely? Did you wake up one day to find yourself a single parent? Are your finances less than you hoped as you head into retirement, or try to raise a family? Is lack of health dictating your future? Is your extended or blended family a huge drain? Are you disappointed in God orwonder if He even cares? In writing fiction, I hope to infuse real life dilemmas to encourage the reader in their own walk. In Katherine's Ar...

Information ascertained by Dr. Gary Chapman to help us understand our primary love language is hugely beneficial in growing our self-worth and in our relationships with our loved ones. It provides guidance on how to love, understand, and accept ourselves, as well as our partner or family members in a way that best expresses love. And let's face it, a happy marriage and peaceful family relationships bring life to our soul. The five love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman are:1 Words of AffirmationQuality TimeActs of ServiceReceiving GiftsPhysical Touch Dr. Gary Chapman so wisely states that Psychologists have concluded, "the need to feel loved...

If you will be so kind as let me ramble a bit about why I wrote Katherine's Arrangement, I promise this will be relatable to you. Long before I even knew I could write, I loved to read. Being a hopeless romantic I gravitated to all romance stories either contemporary or historical. I soon realized that finding clean fiction but still written with the passion of love that God created humans for, was hard to find. (Just read Song of Solomon, God was not afraid to express passion without being explicit. After all, love and sex is His creation.) Given the gift of a writing career late in life one thing was for sure…I wanted to write clean romance...

Time ... 365 ¼ days, 12 months, 52 weeks in a year, or 24 hours, 1,440 minutes, 86,400 seconds in a day leaves us with a question, what will be do with this precious gift? As I hunkered down this past week to meet a writing deadline with rewrites far more extensive than I had anticipated, I planned my week out in precise increments. It was prudent to get stingy with this thing called time. God would surely understand, would He not? This is what transpired. The Spirit of God gently wooed, "do not rush my time with you, dear daughter, take time to pray for those in need." My mother-in-law calls, she needs to go to the d...

I was all of the above until ... Wow! Isn't it wonderful when the Scripture pops off the page and God directly speaks? This does not happen every time I pick up the Bible but I sure appreciate how so often my reading is divinely appointed. I've been particularly stressed at the learning curve needed to launch a book. Writing was the easy part. What is expected of authors these days is next thing to ludicrous and I was having a meltdown. I literally had a list of 52 things that authors do to launch a book and most of which I would have to learn by taking tutorials. From making book trailers, to monthly newsletters, to videos, to learning Canva...

SPIRIT OF THE LIVING GOD ​2 Cor. 3:3 Clearly you are an epistle of Christ, ministered by us, written not with ink but by the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of flesh, that is, of the heart.​ God, Jesus, Holy Spirit—the triune One has many names. We are going to focus on the Spirit of the Living God today but not before I tell you a true story. I was 19, loving both life and Jesus. I had joined our youth group in an all-night wake-a-thon to raise money for hungry children. The next morning we all headed out knowing that we had 12 more hours to make our 36 hour goal. I felt oddly energized by the night of prayin...

KNOWING THE SECRET TO AN ABUNDANT LIFE. In my last blog, I made some BIG statements, and I plan to unfold, elaborate, and expand upon this subject week by week. I will start with a once a week blog each Monday morning with the hope you will use the information given to transform your life. The subject is not new, has been done before, and is as old as time… but as I talk to people, so few have delved into the power just waiting to be theirs by calling on the NAMES OF GOD. THIS PRACTISE HAS REVOLUTIONIZED MY LIFE, and I am so excited to share it with you. There are many names of God because He is vast and amazing, howe...

 This past week a friend of mine sent me this email…the message touches so many of our lives and so I asked her if I could reprint it in my blog and she graciously gave her permission respectfully keeping her name anonymous.When we first started reading Larry Crabb's book "66 love letters" he said in the beginning that history is "His Story." (Meaning God's Story.) I had never thought of it t...

Who sets out on their wedding day with dreams of sadness, betrayal and adultery in mind? What, you say, that would be crazy? Yes, of course it is, but the sad reality is that way too many relationships have memories they would love to obliterate.That's the way I feel. I would love to pretend that I have a fairy tale life, a happily-ever-after, nothing but a happy-go-lucky existence, but that would...

Through the eyes of child a Dandelion holds color,Through the eyes of child  a gift to a mother;Through the eyes of a gardener the dandelion holds seeds,No value, no beauty, nothing but weeds.A flower so beautiful, chubby hands hold tight,A rare treasure to place in water and guard through the night;Through the eyes of  an adult, the Dandelion must die,Rush to the store, a pesticide to buy.Through...

Nature is God's balm, His infusion of love in an often cruel world.Come, let's walk together...may these photos and the detail of God's creation bring balance and perspective to your day as it did to mine.Today out in God's creation I found solace, peace and was given a gentle reminder...Here is what God showed me.The bud of a leaf... Daffodils in the neighbors yard...My walk took me from the...

How does one take the mundane out of just another day? NO… it’s not winning the lottery. It is a process I call salt and pepper…a dash of goodness and a sprinkle of generosity added to any day, any time.Let me explain!A work day, a toothless man, and an opportunity.Saying good bye to a friend, I opened the door of our store and stepped out. Inhaling the crisp spring air felt cleansing after the li...

Ever since I was a child…as far back as my memory goes, I remember that flicker of excitement within when I would catch my first glimpse of the bright yellow Buttercup flower. It signified that spring had FINALLY won the battle over winter.I don’t often get time to walk these day, but being Sunday I stole a half hour of fresh air with my lab Lyla and off we went. She raced around in sheer delight ...

Today is my 100th post, and I feel a distinct need to change the focus of this blog. I will forever and always have a heart for those who suffer betrayal and are in the process of healing, but the winds of change are blowing through my life. A dominant message and theme emerges...Interactive ways in which to make our world a more positive place.I need your story and would love to hear from you the...

The past number of weeks in my blogs we discussed the sovereignty of God and the question whether He could be trusted when circumstances are difficult. To sum up the message, I would like you to consider reading a portion of the Bible to solidify the concept of a God who has all in control, at all times.Start in Genesis and read the story of Joseph, my all time favorite Bible character. He was fai...

 Thanks for joining me while I work through posting a chapter of my book  called “Friendly Fire.” This chapter primarily deals with the difficulty of trusting in a good God when life is not good. If you have not read my blogs before, please go back a few weeks to Part 1 and begin there for greater clarity. My time in Australia took on a new face. Grief faded. Anger visited, but trust bec...

Firstly, I want to thank those who spared the time to write and encourage me onward. It is encouraging to know there are those receiving help and hope in reading this blog, and in dealing with betrayal.Now I want to tell you a little story…a true story.At a Sunday dinner, my adult daughter casually blurts out that she had ran into the woman who had an affair with my husband. (My children knew her ...

DOES PRAYER WORK?To be honest, I had misgivings regarding the validity of prayer after I found out about adultery in my marriage. I could not believe where I found my life after so many years of praying. I wondered what good they had accomplished? I asked God some tough questions. I wanted to know how it all worked. If God would not answer my heart-felt prayers because my husband had the free will...

Verbal and emotional abuse is one of the hardest types of abuse to recognize…most people understand physical abuse, however emotional abuse can be disguised in a plethora of ways but equally as damaging.  So I thought it best to start with the definition of abuse before tackling the subject of extending grace.Abuse is defined in the dictionary as…1) To use wrongly or improperly; misuse: to abuse o...

Depression can creep into the soul unaware. Sad happenings tend to invite this beast. Suddenly you wake up and find the darkness overwhelming, all joy stolen. You turn the light on, but the gloom does not lift. The sun rises, but there is no warmth. Sadness demands not just a portion of your life, but life itself.With depression edging in, my physician asked some pertinent questions and carefully ...

COMMIT TO A WEEKLY PAMPERI know it’s strange to think of pampering oneself in the midst of crisis, but it has a definite cathartic benefit.Your reserves are low, your immune system is taxed due to stress, and your body is physically struggling to maintain health. A weekly massage, bubble bath with relaxing therapeutic oils, lunch out with a good friend, or taking time to read an encouraging book, ...

THE IMPORTANCE OF A HEALTHY DIETI am not a certified nutritionist, but as a Personal Trainer have taken numerous courses on this subject. Choosing to eat healthy is important during times of high stress. Many of us will do the opposite and turn to comfort foods (high in sodium, sugar and fat) or not eat at all. Both scenarios are destructive over time. For the first few months after disclosure I d...

FIND A GOOD COUNSELORPreserving emotional health during your time of crisis involves reaching out for help. As with the old adage, it takes a village to raise a child, so it is with emotional healing. This is not something you should tackle alone. Isolation creates problems.It may prove difficult finding positive avenues of support, but it is crucial. Consider talking to a pastor, certified counse...

I have had numerous positive responses to my blog and few negatives, but this negative response got me thinking...I had of course received my husband and adult children's blessing  before ever starting such a web site and it was for the very love of God and love of people I opened a very personal struggle up to the public. Sadly when we were in the midst of our pain we were shocked to find little ...

SLEEP DEPRIVATION AND A VISIT TO THE PHYSICIANJournal Entry February 19, 2008 I had another wretched sleep last night and wonder how I’ll go on at this rate. I long for those nights of endless slumber where sleep was sweet and not tortured. The fact my emotions are all over the map and I feel like I’m going nuts may be related to sleep deprivation as readily as my hellish existence.Prior to revela...

“Health is a large word. It embraces not the body only, but the mind and spirit as well;…and not today’s pain or pleasure alone, but the whole being and outlook of a man.” ~James H. West[i] Betrayal at any level places a lot of stress on the body. In order to stay healthy during these times, physical, emotional, and spiritual self-care is essential. This is easy to overlook, but crucial to your he...

Interview with Elin Nordegren, now ex-wife of Tiger Woods.“The divorce came nine months after Tiger Woods' early morning car crash late last November led to revelations that he had been cheating on his wife of six years with multiple partners. Before Wednesday, Elin Nordegren had remained silent about the massive sex scandal that embroiled their lives and led to Woods dropping off the golf circuit...

I have been working 12 hour days, six days a week and Sunday is my only day to unwind, schedule nothing, and as I wrote last week – BREATHE. I have to say since we bought this business, Sunday’s have never been more precious.Then…A friend calls!She needs immediate help. She is in crisis.My first reaction deep within, in that place no one sees but God, was reluctance. I just didn’t have time.I imme...

WHEN LIFE IS TOO BUSY TO BREATHEI have been working tirelessly at a new business my husband and I recently acquired. Too many hours in a day demanded. Too many days of the week spent. Too many weeks of the year evaporate into thin air. Gone!So today I decided to purposefully take time to reflect, to ponder, to quiet my racing soul. For the stress levels were rising and my spirit felt disjointed an...

SHOCK - HOW CAN THIS BE?A season of shock is expected after disclosure and is the first hurtle to jump after any type of betrayal is revealed. We feel betrayed because we believed that person incapable of their stunning behavior and their lack of concern for how it impacts our life.During my season of shock I faded in and out of reality. For a while I was in such pain, I could barely eat, sleep, o...

CONFLICT... WITHIN THE FAMILY KIND OF  LIKE SNOW IN THE DESERT...IT JUST DOES NOT SEEM RIGHT!Conflict within the immediate and/or extended family slams into our life at one time or another. It hurts more when those we love turn away, or turn against. With friends we may feel betrayed, but don’t have the continual complexities of family functions that throw us together. In other words, it behooves ...

Find me a living soul who has escaped the grueling test of betrayal, and I will give you a soul that has yet begun to live. Betrayal in this fallen world hits us all too readily, be it from the hands of a mother, a father, a friend, a business partner, a son, a daughter, an extended family member, a pastor, a teacher, and on the list goes.There is no way to circumvent the free flowing pain of betr...

 I read Michael Hyatt’s blog almost daily. He normally educates on writing, leadership and public speaking but this day he veered off that path to a topic near and dear to my heart…How to avoid adultery.The following is part of his July 14, 2012 blog post called: What Are You Doing to Protect Your Marriage? | Michael Hyatt “Here are three actions I take in order to protect my marriage: I inve...

 This weekend I attended a ladies retreat; we had some designated time to spend with God outdoors to ask for revelation through the wonder of His creation.The first thing I spotted was a dirty feather covered in grit and sand. I passed it by.Meandering down to the lakeshore I surveyed the splendor far and wide. Though chilly and gray an ethereal mist flowed gently across the distant water. Su...

If you have been betrayed...your anger may surface over and over. Do not become disheartened, God will never leave or forsake you even if everyone else does. Healing from betrayal is a process. Give yourself the freedom of time.One of the ways God supplied help in my circumstance was to provide a Godly counselor. I had opportunity to pour out my anger without causing further damage to my marriage....

ANGER SURGES...I believed I was a strong Christian woman who loved Jesus, but this current struggle with anger had me worried. Incredibly worried.Each time I thought of that adulterous woman and my husband together, my hands clenched into fists, my eyes filled with tears, and my nice Christian heart turned a shade blacker. My previously gentle personality now exuded something akin to hatred. A str...

THE FOLLOWING IS A SONG THAT DEEPLY IMPACTED A CHOICE I HAD TO MAKE IN ORDER TO LIVE OUT MY CHRISTIANITY, NOT JUST TALK ABOUT IT.I hope this song by Martina McBride inspires you, as it did me.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNe3z385T7k

FORGIVENESS IS A CONVOLUTED PROCESSWWII Nazi concentration camp survivor Corrie Ten Boom related her struggle on how she had chosen to forgive but remained unable to forget the wrong done to her. She kept reliving the incident in her mind to the point she could not sleep. Finally Corrie cried out to God for help."God’s help came in the form of a kindly Lutheran pastor," Corrie wrote, "to whom I co...

Is Revenge Really Sweet, Or Does It Torment The Soul? When betrayal hits ones life, the last thing considered in the heat of the moment is forgiveness! In fact, revenge flows instinctively. The moment I heard the truth, a surge of anger burned hot and ugly.I remember driving my car to the other woman’s house with only one thought in mind. I was not going to be the only one in pain. For the first t...

Are we there yet? A couple months after the truth came out about David’s infidelity he asked me a question in our counseling session. How far are you along in the healing process?In truth I wanted to bob him, I felt about as healed as a gangrene infected wound. How could he even broach that subject?The following journal entry tells the story.January 30, 2007 David was visibly saddened in counselin...

A Little Wind In The Sail. Life has been crazy busy. Work eats up many hours of the day, and duties at home even more. I feel stretched and pulled in directions I never thought possible.My devotions are hurried. My physical exercise depleted. The church clambers for volunteer time and my family who is the most important of all, deserves more commitment.Like an elephant on a tightrope, I balance th...

 “He that conceals his grief finds no remedy for it.” Turkish Proverb Much like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz...I just wanted to find my way home. The grief that consumed me, felt unnatural, unreal...like a bad dream.Grief is expected when someone dies, but rarely considered in other circumstances. Yet every person who experiences betrayal of any sort, must grieve in order to heal. It took me a...

Journal your pain. When I was in the midst of the worst of the worst I found the practice of journaling much like Aloe Vera on a raging sun burn…it cooled and soothed. Betrayal hit my life from different angles—adultery in my marriage, a prayer partner who could not keep this confidential and a business partner who took our money and ran. A life so wonderful one moment, unraveled completely in the...

When giving thanks feels near impossible...WHY BOTHER? A book entitled One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voscamp has beautifully epitomized the power found in taking the time to be thankful. I highly recommend this read.Interestingly enough, this book reinforced a concept God had taught me some years earlier.I understand fully how difficult it may be to give thanks in the midst of sorrow, but I also want ...

Can you see the wind? Today I went for a walk. Not because I needed one after a crazy busy workday, but because my dog Lyla did.A simple truth blew across my mind. God is much like the unseen force of the wind.I could not see the gale that ripped up through the valley, but I could feel it. My hair streamed behind and whipped back across my face as I turned my head to throw the ball for Lyla.The wa...

When Life is Noisy… I started a FULL-TIME job at a doctor’s office. I am called a “runner” for good reason. I run from 8:00am until 5:00- 5:30pm + depending on the day, with only one half hour break. No sitting, no chairs, on my feet moving at a frantic pace. The word "busy" does not quite suffice.By the end of the day my feet throb, my legs feel like rubber, all I can think about is finding a cha...

A Common Sinfulness After betrayal of any sort, be it a family member, spouse, business partner, or friend, a question bursts on the scene of our consciousness. Why should we show mercy to the offender, the one who has caused such pain, anger and loss?The answer to this question came at a price—I had to look at myself.For months after disclosure, raw anger fueled thoughts of revenge.  Where previo...