Ever Wake up Angry, Tormented or Sad?
A Journal Entry
Here is a journal entry a year after finding out about betrayal in my marriage. I had come a long way, but the healing was not yet complete.If you have ever wondered how God speaks to us in this day and age, here is a wonderful example. God, through His Word, spoke on a day I really needed to hear His voice and receive encouragement and wisdom.
October 4, 2008
I woke up early and much like a merry-go-round at the local fair, thoughts of what they did whirled in my brain. This onslaught hit the moment consciousness emerged. I found my mind instantly racing in directions I did not want to go. I felt sick and desired a way off this ride from hell, but around and around I went.
How does this happen? What should I do with this garbage in my mind?
I rose from bed after tossing and turning for an hour and walked into another dark day. Out of sheer desperation I picked up the Word and randomly opened the pages begging God for insight and strength.
2 Cor. 1:3 popped off the page. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” NIV
Oh God I need this comfort you speak of.
I read on…2 Cor. 1:8-9 “We do not want you to be uniformed, about the hardships we suffered…we were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure…But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead….On Him we have set our hope.” NIV
God you see the suffering, the pressure, the pain. I need hope. I need healing. I need this torment to end.
2 Cor. 2:10,11 “…if there was anything to forgive, I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.” NIV
Oh God help me forgive completely. I know I still struggle.
2 Cor. 7-8 “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed (I don’t understand), but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned (by God), struck down, but not destroyed.” NIV
I need your power God, for I feel pressed, perplexed, struck down. Do not let this betrayal destroy me.
2 Cor 2:16-17 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” NIV
Thank you God for speaking into my soul… for renewing this troubled heart and for the hope of a brighter tomorrow. You answered my question...This is what one does with the garbage Satan brings to mind, dispel the darkness with the light of your Word.
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About the author
Blossom Turner is an award-winning novelist, and a free-lance writer published in Chicken Soup and Kernels of Hope anthologies, and former newspaper columnist on health and fitness. A Word Guild semi-finalist for Anna's Secret, Katherine's Arrangement, Amelia’s Heartsong, and a Word Guild winner for Best Romance for Lucinda’s Defender. She has found her home in the writing of historical fiction but is open to wherever God leads. The many 5-star reviews attest to the power of love and romance authentically woven into the Shenandoah Bride Series about five sisters and their five love stories.
Blossom lives in British Columbia, Canada, with her husband, David, of forty years and their dog Lacey named after Lacey Spring, Virginia, where this series takes place. A former businesswoman, personal trainer, and mother of two grown children she is now pursuing her lifelong dream of writing full-time. A hopeless romantic at heart, she believes all story should give the reader significant entertainment value. However, her writing embodies the struggles of real life. She infuses the reality of suffering with the hope of Christ to give a healthy dose of relatable encouragement to her reader. Her desire is to leave the reader with a yearning to live for Christ on a deeper level, or at the very least, create a hunger to seek for more.
Co-author Suzie Zanewhich
Suzie is a certified life coach, leader of emotional health, and resource specialist. She has found her niche as a soul coach.
Suzie finds purpose in empowering individuals to move towards growth, healing, and alignment with their authentic self. Suzie is driven by a calling to live authentically, as the person God created her to be, to reach her fullest potential and lead others to do the same. Her passion is to help others find meaning through discovering their strengths, gifts, personality, temperament and core values.
Suzie is a life-long learner, continuously immersing herself in new courses to learn more about human behaviour, relationships, psychology, child development, emotions, trauma and healing. Because of her craving to always learn more she has earned the title of resource specialist in the area of self-discovery.
Suzie Zanewich lives with her husband in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. She has a patchwork family of four grown children, two daughters, two sons and three granddaughters.
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