Can You Love When The Unlovely Prevails?
In answering this question I had to look at what love truly is.
It is not the Hollywood fairytale rendition. After all if Hollywood and all its cream of the crop actors and actresses had the answers to love, there would not be endless betrayal and divorce among their ranks.
So let’s throw out all preconceived ideals and look at what God says.
I Corinthians 13 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.(5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails. NIV
In reading this there is but one conclusion, we all fall short of giving perfect love. David was not completely at fault…I fell short as well. The love described here is selfless, forgiving, and has little to do with the romantic feelings of the moment.
Love is a choice!
I had to choose to love, or walk away.
If David had not gone to counseling, worked hard at changing the behavior that led to temptation and then sin, I would have walked away. Scripture makes allowances for divorce when adultery is evident. I do not advocate staying in a situation that will serve up more of the same kind of pain.
I love this Albert Einstein quote:
“The definition of insanity is to continue in the same behavior, but expect different results.”
Because David chose to change, I had a decision to make. If I chose to stay, the success of our marriage depended on my choice to also love.
I will be honest; I was numb for a long time. Pain and sorrow filled my feeling reservoir to the brim and I had little left.
Do not worry if you feel the same way. “Feelings” of love will return as trust is rebuilt and the choice to love “God’s way,” is made.
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About the author
Blossom Turner is an award-winning novelist, and a free-lance writer published in Chicken Soup and Kernels of Hope anthologies, and former newspaper columnist on health and fitness. A Word Guild semi-finalist for Anna's Secret, Katherine's Arrangement, Amelia’s Heartsong, and a Word Guild winner for Best Romance for Lucinda’s Defender. She has found her home in the writing of historical fiction but is open to wherever God leads. The many 5-star reviews attest to the power of love and romance authentically woven into the Shenandoah Bride Series about five sisters and their five love stories.
Blossom lives in British Columbia, Canada, with her husband, David, of forty years and their dog Lacey named after Lacey Spring, Virginia, where this series takes place. A former businesswoman, personal trainer, and mother of two grown children she is now pursuing her lifelong dream of writing full-time. A hopeless romantic at heart, she believes all story should give the reader significant entertainment value. However, her writing embodies the struggles of real life. She infuses the reality of suffering with the hope of Christ to give a healthy dose of relatable encouragement to her reader. Her desire is to leave the reader with a yearning to live for Christ on a deeper level, or at the very least, create a hunger to seek for more.
Co-author Suzie Zanewhich
Suzie is a certified life coach, leader of emotional health, and resource specialist. She has found her niche as a soul coach.
Suzie finds purpose in empowering individuals to move towards growth, healing, and alignment with their authentic self. Suzie is driven by a calling to live authentically, as the person God created her to be, to reach her fullest potential and lead others to do the same. Her passion is to help others find meaning through discovering their strengths, gifts, personality, temperament and core values.
Suzie is a life-long learner, continuously immersing herself in new courses to learn more about human behaviour, relationships, psychology, child development, emotions, trauma and healing. Because of her craving to always learn more she has earned the title of resource specialist in the area of self-discovery.
Suzie Zanewich lives with her husband in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. She has a patchwork family of four grown children, two daughters, two sons and three granddaughters.
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